Update

Ok, I know I’ve been rubbish at posting. I’ve been really busy with things.

I’ve been trying really hard to move on with my life. I’m meant to be moving out of my supported accommodation very soon, I’ve applied todo an apprenticeship as a chef, and college which goes with that.
So far I have a conditional offer at a college in London, and now I’m searching for a place at a kitchen. I had a trial shift at a restaurant in London today, I spent most of my time in the pastry kitchen, which I really loved.. But I don’t want to say that.. Incase I don’t get the place.
Anyway, so much to that. If I get the position at the kitchen I’ll be going to college and the kitchen. This will hopefully mean that I will learn how to be a chef, and it will give me some qualifications, which I don’t really have.
I should be moving soon also, which is good as I’m facing a lot of problems with living here.

The fact that things are moving on.. And to the speed that they are.. It’s really taking it’s tole on my health, I think. I’m struggling a lot with my mental health, especially with my eating and self harm. I feel like I can’t up with everything. I want to move on so much.. Moving from here will mean a lot less support.. And I guess that’s good because I really don’t want to be reliant on professionals, but I’m finding it as if I’m kidding myself. 

My eating’s gotten. A bit bad again. I feel like I need to control something. I know it’s wrong, and I’m trying to move on. But I still hate the way I look, and it’s given me something to focus on other than all the scary big decisions. it..

I really don’t know where to go with this.. I guess this post showed how confused my head is.

Thank you for reading.

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